I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
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