Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize