how can u be prego again
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
