she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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