The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
