just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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