I wish my penis had an off switch
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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