some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
