No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
