The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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