I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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