Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
did i walk over a car last night?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
