I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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