You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
