Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
