***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
