I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
