And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
