uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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