If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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