I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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