She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
