no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
