this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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