i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
