When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
