It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
