Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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