Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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