Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
