But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
