My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
