Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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