he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize