You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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