Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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