so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
