just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
MIDGETS
????
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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