I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize