Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Also, beer. Big fan.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
