I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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