I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
