sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
