For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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