Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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