I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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