3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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