I am in a vortex of obligation.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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