their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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