Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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