you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
