I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
