Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
