don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
is wine microwaveable?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
