It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
