is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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