They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
