We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
