So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
