I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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