yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
